alt.workshop

This Saturday we had the first in a series of alt.news workshops that will cover the step-by-step production process for ID’s, fake commercials, and segments ideas.

Naturally we began with a pre-production overview to help people plan their shoots. As fun as it is to make everything up as you go along, we learned today that knowing what you’re doing tends to make a higher quality product (and it may also help your stress-induced ulcer). Lessons included the normal topics like formatting and email etiquette, in addition to some unique situations like what to do in the event of a raccoon mauling and handling nuclear holocaust threats from the president.

We also brainstormed a script for the nightmarish Alt Alarm Clock written in the vain of SNL’s Taco Town. Alt Alarm is the only clock that can guarantee to have you awake on time, by not letting you sleep at all.

Yet sadly, while the successes of the day were numerous and gratifying we were not able to test the patented Zac Kolves Idea Generator ® . Perhaps it is something to look forward to at future meetings and workshops.

The New Year

alt.news is gearing up for 2012 right now and seeing as it may be the last pre-apocalyptic year we have we’re hitting the ground running. Our next episode is going to be filled with irresistibly cute horses, irresistibly tearful stories, and irresistibly delicious grub; you simply won’t be able to keep your hands off us.  And while we can’t promise that you’ll fare as well as John Cusack when the end-times come, we can at least help you check off another year of Resolutions.

1). Take care of people in need

Every year at Christmas the residents of Tinley Park, a suburb of Chicago, go around to give gifts to a select group of families in need. This season we followed the whirling twirling blaring lights and sirens of the Tinley Park service members as they visited the homes of five families to bring them a little holiday cheer and goodwill.

2). Lose weight…some other time.

Springfield Illinois may be the Capital of Abraham Lincoln but more recently they’ve given us something better–the horseshoe sandwich. The open faced Texas toast sandwich topped with meat cheese and fries has a taste to die for, and a calorie count to help.

3). Help save an animal’s life

You may know racehorses for their unique names, but do you know what happens when a horse runs its last lap? In this next episode we’ll introduce you to a nonprofit in Kentucky helping retrain racehorses to give them a second wind. You’ll see how thoroughbred racing horses become adjusted to domestic riding, and hear at least a dozen more racing metaphors to boot.

4). Help bring families together.

Did you know that phone calls to prisons cost an average of $18 for 15 minutes? No trifling sum when you’re trying to keep in touch with a loved one you can’t see for years. Phone company monopolies on prison systems are putting a heavy cost on the families of prisoners so Thousand Kites is helping level the playing field for those at home. Family members call into this weekly radio program from across to leave just a brief message for the ones that are out of their reach.

5). Learn how to make your own clothes in a tough economy.

Okay so maybe barrels don’t make the best going-out wear (Barney Stinson would certainly want better from us) but we promise to take you inside something you’ve never seen before as we explore the McGinnis barrel factory.

Always Distorted

Well, the first week of November is already gone, and as promised our Distortion episode is rapidly approaching. The episode will air November 13th and if you haven’t seen the promo yet you can check out here.
You’ll have to forgive the long gaps in blog posts, as we’re entering our typical Episode-Completion lull. After rushing to get our last segments finished on the deadline, it can take a little while to get our minds focused on the next episode. This lull has been enhanced by the fact that many of the Alt.Newsies have been working hard with the industry darling RED1 MX for a narrative-documentary called SOIL. If you want to find out more, click here to read the blog Kyle Jarvis has been diligently updating as the project progresses.

Kyle Loughrin and Zac Kolves with the RED

SOIL isn’t the only thing in the works around here though. With the long Thanksgiving Break we have coming up Alt.News is going to travel around Missouri, Illinois, and Kentucky to do several segments for our upcoming episodes. While we normally do segments spread out over the weeks in between episode deadlines we like to use this break to do as many as we can in the time available. Leading up to this marathon we’ll be getting our promos, hostlinks, and commercials in order. So stay tuned for clips of those and previews of the people and programs we’ll be meeting in late November!

While you wait for those updates and the next episode, check out our blooper reel for Distortion 415:

Turning 30 Never Felt So Good

There’s a fine line between congratulating a job well done and bragging. Its a tough line to walk, so we’ll let Stephen Colbert do it for us:

This past Saturday Alt.News 26:46 won a Mid-American Regional Emmy for a Specialty Program with Distortion 415. Congratulations to all those who worked on the episode, you really earned that Emmy! And we hope the rest of you check it out if you haven’t seen it already. We promise watching the episode will be at least half as fun for you as winning the award was for us.

This Emmy win marks our big 3-0. Since Alt News began, we’ve won 30 professional regional Emmy Awards, not to count the 6 college television Emmy awards we’ve won in Los Angeles.

It should have been 31, if it weren’t for Spot TV taking the Magazine Show category, but we can accept our loss thanks to our unusual luck with the attendance raffle. The two tables that sat Alt.News won 3 of the 7 raffle prizes, including a gorgeous watercolor painting now proudly hanging in the Loft.

We entitled it "Zac's Grapes" after the lucky man who won it for us. We don't think the original artist will mind the new title.

That being said, our lucky raffle wins caused some dissension in the group. Without going into too many details, there are some that wanted to re-title the watercolor for themselves, and there’s a Southwestern painting that will not be joining us in the Loft.

Filming Hostlinks

We carry on though, for there are always more awards to be won. This year we’re hoping to break into a previously untapped category with the hostlinks for our second episode. Our musically gifted Kevin Ryan may very well take us to the Grammys with his original choreographed mini-musicals that will introduce each of the band segments for our next Distortion show. The musical segments are brief but meticulously crafted and display incredible fluency for all different types of music including hip-hop, country, and ragtime. So look out for the soundtrack release and keep an eye on Billboard. In the meantime, you can checkout some of our 36 award winning episodes, including the under-appreciated Episode #12.03.

In the Beginning

Greetings all! Welcome to the inception of the Alt.News Blog. Chances are if you’ve made it as far as this post, you have a sense of who we are, and what we do. But if not, let me give you a preview:

Okay, okay so maybe we borrowed some of that. But the truth is, we’re the closest thing to the Dark Knight you can get in 26 minutes and 46 seconds on public television (we too have a dark superhero to keep the streets safe for all). Don’t believe us? See for yourself. In case you didn’t know, we’re already one episode deep into Season 13, and if you need to kill some time online to…

(choose reference that is most applicable to you)
let your Pottermore potion cook
let your Farmville plants grow
let your Sim Social character gain energy
let your research paper remain unfinished because you work better when you leave it down to the wire anyway and besides you pretty much know what you want to write

Then you should check out our cleverly titled episode #13.01. We have a few segments on some of the oddest sports around, and a serious journalistic piece that will chill your heart. One of our best intrepid undercover field reporters risked life and limb to record a harrowing journey across the infamous Tour de Beignet. How did he do? You’ll have to watch to find out.

Now if you have seen our first episode, fear not. Number two is on the way, and this one is our annual Distortion episode, which if you don’t know, is our show that is fully devoted to music (we promise it will be more exciting than listening to NPR). We’ll have band interviews, footage of live shows, and a special guest appearance by Adele. Everyone hates hipsters who say, “I’m totally in love with this band but you’ve probably never heard of them”, but after Distortion prepare to become one of them. These bands may not wear meat dresses or make The Greatest Music Videos of All Time but they sure know how to rock. So get familiar with them before the show, and stay tuned for updates on The Blog, The Twitter, and The Facebook.

Trampled by Turtles is a progressive bluegrass band from Minnesota.

Those Darlins is a country/garage band (yes there are country garage bands) from Tennessee where the sky rains good music.

The Gordons are a folk/rock duo from good ol’ Illinois

Dillinger Escape Plan is metal/rock band from New Jersey.